What is the goal of my life? What am I seeking? I think I and all other human beings universally seek joy and happiness. We want something to make our lives meaningful and delightful. Our pursuit takes us to the mall or the auto dealer, to the casino or lottery machine, to the computer porn screens and sexual encounters of every description. Others of us turn to jobs, family, travel and “experiences” as sources of validation and “happiness.” There are those who constantly change homes, remodel or build bigger, better ones in the pursuit of ultimate satisfaction. But it is quite obvious that every one of the ways we try to grasp joy is a vapor that slips through our fingers. The Preacher, speaking in the book of Ecclesiastes says:

“All that my eyes desired did not refuse them. I did not withhold my heart from any pleasure, for my heart was pleased because of all my labor and this was my reward for all my labor. Thus I considered all my activities which my hands had done and the labor which I had exerted and behold all was vanity and striving after wind and there was no profit under the sun.“ Ecclesiastes 2:10-11

In this season—very late winter— I have been tempted to grouse and complain about the snow and gloom that just seem to hang on and on. Most folks here in the Inland Northwest are feeling the same. This particular winter has been a rough one. Snow. Lots of snow. Gray skies. Lots of gray skies. To be fair, there have been some lovely breaks–when the world was freshly frosted with snow making a fairyland of an ordinary neighborhood. And when the drizzle of “precipitation” has broken to a wash of glorious blue sky. But mostly, it has been a “long, dark winter.” Definitely no obvious JOY in my attitude or heart.
During this glum time, I have been pondering my faith—where is the evidence that it is real? I’ve wondered about my worship and the reality of my life “in Christ.” What does it all mean? Is it real? Am I kidding myself and just living and believing what I was raised to believe and do? Why do I not experience joy and satisfaction that Scripture says are the lot of the believer in Christ?

“Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love. If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you and that your joy may be made full.” John 15:9-11

Don’t get me wrong. I have a deeply settled conviction that God exists. He is real and knowable. He has spoken authoritatively to the creatures of His creation. What I am fussing about is my response to all this. I know that He in His sovereign might has reached down and transformed my “dead-in-sin” heart to a “new creation” heart that will live forever. But somehow, my love to this wonderful God seems so tepid. I keep loving my own interests and daily thoughts more than Him and His Word. Where is the joy Jesus says is mine? What does it feel like? What is it?
I’ve just begun listening to an audio version of John Piper’s book, Desiring God. In it he lays out a case for being a “Christian Hedonist”—one who craves and seeks the joys and delights of God Himself.

Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines hedonism as:
1: the doctrine that pleasure or happiness is the sole or chief good in life

That is an amazing thought that my spiritual life should be marked by the pursuit of pleasure and happiness in God as my overriding goal and passion. I want to be saying with the Psalmist

“All my springs of joy are in You.” Psalm 89: 7b

I’m eager to finish this book. I am being challenged and somehow, I think that as my gaze turns toward Jesus my questions will be answered more fully. Already, I know that my faith in Jesus is real. I know I am not kidding myself about the reality of God and His Heaven and His promises and His Word. Yes, I was raised to this, but all these have borne the scrutiny of skepticism and intellectual thought.
Now I am looking to wade into these waters of joyous hedonism. I am eager and excited to find delight in God alone. I have the sense that I am on the verge of a very amazing time in my life.

Question: What is your goal in life? Will you seek to know, love and enjoy God above all else? Will you experience the “joy of the LORD” today?