Tag: strength

On Waiting: Uncertainty and Anxiety

Posted on by Karyn Jeffrey

I’m waiting with my husband for the time he will be rolled into surgery. It has been a long and stressful morning of preparation for this procedure. Here he is, all scrubbed, poked and prepped for a big “event” (knee replacement, as it happens), but the actual surgery is more than an hour away. This flurry of action followed by a “wait” is unsettling. I feel off-balance. The whole situation makes me think of how our lives are made up of these experiences of hurry and rush followed by the uncertainty and anxiety of a “wait.”

Knowing that we were facing weeks of limited mobility following this surgery made the daily “to-do” list fairly long. But being busy kept the anxiety and uncertainty of the impending operation at bay. But now, sitting in this blank-walled, “other-world,” I have ample time for all sorts of “what ifs” to play out in my head. So—taking a deep breath, I am taking my thoughts in hand and bring them into captivity to Christ.

We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raise up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.  2 Corinthians 10:5b

What does Scripture say about waiting? About anxiety? About the outcome in store for me? Waiting for God is a command. He is the Holy Creator. I am a sinful creature. The vast difference between God and me is enough that I must lay my hand on my mouth in reverent silence and submission to Him and His plans.

The future is invisible to our finite eyes, but God sees. Trust Him.

God, the Eternal and Unchangeable One, is never late and never early. His plans are ripening exactly as He purposes and every second of my life, indeed all of human activity is completely under His control. He knows every aspect, every thought and action of every person. Nothing escapes His all-knowing gaze.

I am anxious about the outcome of this surgery. What if Beloved Spouse is crippled, ends up in a coma, or worse yet, were to die? The same truth regarding the power, wisdom and good purposes of God bring comfort. God knows all that will come. He loves me and assures me that everything that come to me is for my good.

What amazing comfort that God will work EVERYTHING to our best. He is so good!

He has told me that all that makes me anxious, causes me fear or prompts concern, should be cast on Him.

At our darkest times, God cares. Tell Him and He will shoulder your troubles.

He is the All-Powerful One. He is able to deal with anything that will come to me. He has promised His Holy Spirit will guide and direct me. The Word of promise to me is that He will provide all I need. So, as I wait, my thoughts are quieted before my wonderful loving Heavenly Father. He has made me His child by His Son, Jesus.

God loves me! Remember the Sunday school song, “Jesus Loves Me.”? It is true. “The Bible tells me so.”

His love and concern for me are vast and eternal.  The eternal God is a dwelling place and underneath are the everlasting arms.     Deuteronomy 33: 27a

I am able to relax. I am able to wait. The tides of uncertainty may swirl but I can rest and wait in perfect quietness and confidence. God has it all in hand.

QUESTION: What are you waiting for? Does God’s power, sovereignty and love for you help you obediently wait?

P.S. I wrote this post last week and then after I finished writing it, I found this quote today in the daily devotional book Beloved Spouse and I read together each morning. There is a passage of Scripture to read, a very helpful article explaining it and then as a sidebar called Coram Deo (Living before the face of God). This is the quote from May 10.

God offered David many specific encouragements when he was on the run from Saul. The Lord continues to encourage His people today through His Word, which assures us of God’s presence and power. When you need fresh assurance that the Lord is with you, turn to His Word, for its promises of God’s presence, power, and provision are sure.

The magazine is called Tabletalk. It is a monthly publication of Ligonier Ministries. Find it by going to: tabletalkmagazine.com. The subscription cost is quite modest and well worth the getting. They are willing to send you a sample copy if you request it.

AND… God is healing Beloved Spouse very quickly. Praise God!

A piece of calligraphy I did trying to use the lessons in the uncial alphabet and the lesson on how to create Celtic knots.

 

 

Black Hole of January

Posted on by Karyn Jeffrey

Today I have been soaking in the exquisite blue-sky, biting cold, snow-laden day from the comfort of a warm house. The joy of a cup of coffee in a patch of sun and silence makes my heart pour over with joy. It seems strange to love this harsh beauty all around me. Ordinarily January is a hard month for me. There is the let down after the whirl and excitement of holidays. The glum gray weather and short daylight conspire to drag my heart down. It is so easy to just push my nose into a book, or let my eyes glaze over staring at a home improvement re-run, or mindlessly tap keys to play a computer game. I shrug off the nudges of conscience that urge me to get that project done, or get busy in my studio again now that there is time to work. I slouch my way through the days with a niggling undercurrent of embarrassment at my sloth and indolence.

Thankfully, God doesn’t let His kids wallow and wander too long or too far. A few days ago, in the gray gloom of despair, I prayed and asked for relief. His Spirit gently nudged me to bring my trouble to Him.

“Casting all your cares on Him, because He cares for you.”

So, almost reluctantly (to my shame—there is a perverse delight in being miserable sometimes, isn’t there?) I took out my Bible and got on my knees. I asked for help to break out of the miserable hole in which I found myself.

“Here I am, God. I feel like a slug. I have gained too many pounds eating mindlessly during the holidays. I have been lazing around building bad habits that are dragging me down and ruining my witness for You. I have procrastinated on several major projects and now I am in a state of immobile misery. Help me! Stir me up to want to do what I should. Create in me a desire for the things that honor and delight You. I can’t do this on my own. I even know that in my old self I don’t want to ‘straighten up.’ Please help me.”

My prayer was not terribly eloquent. Not fancy. But from my miserable heart to His kind and listening ear, Jesus stood at the Throne of the Father and interceded for me. And, Faithful Father! He sent out His Holy Spirit to come along side and work in me.

God isn’t like the fairy godmother in Cinderella, just waving a magic wand and making everything wonderful and “sparkly.” Rather,  He stirred up my soul in almost indiscernible steps at first. A song  heard here, the word of a friend there. The verse I read that morning. An unexpected invitation rendered. A reminding thought of an opportunity nearly passed by because of my recent indifference. And, in answer to my pitiful prayer, He began stirring in my heart, creating the desire and the will to do what needed to be done

“For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 1:6

Today, especially, I have reason to sing. The Holy Spirit, truly a Comforter, the gift of Jesus to His own, has worked in my heart and mind. I am refreshed, changed and recharged. I know it is His work because in my own strength I most certainly would not have pulled out of my emotional, spiritual and artistic black hole.  So, here, today, God has jolted me with this glorious day that begs my soul to sing. As the Psalmist says,  He is Good and does good. Psalm 119:68  I will praise Him for all His wonderful works which He has made known to me.

Question:

Are you bumbling around in despair? Are you struggling with winter gloom? Will you call on God to help you?